Your Homework: Make a list of all the possible tough questions or tests you could get from a woman. Then, jot down some silly responses.
#1. Hey, what are you doing?
Just hosting a top-secret pillow fight with the guys. Shhh!
#2. Oh wow that shirt, did you get fashion advice from your grandma?
Yep, just today I had to fight off 3 old ladies from trying to kiss me at the supermarket
#3. I think I’m going to take a break from dating
Do have any friends that look exactly like you
#4. When she is mad that you did something wrong
Voice Note: you’re very, very, BAD MAN…. (Babu Bhatt accent)
#6. You’re NOT my type
I’m everybody’s type
#7 What did that girl want?
She asked me to get married….. but I told her it was too soon
#8 that guy in the background is sexy, can I have his number
#9 Did you miss me already?
#10 Broken Date: I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight
Guess you scored tickets to The Backstreet Boys
#11 I’m never leaving my boyfriend
what if I gave you a coconut?
#12 Are you mad at me?
Hulk smash!
#13 She doesn’t respond to your message (after 24 hours)
“Lmk if you’ve been kidnapped and need me to send the boy scouts to come rescue you.”
#14 Don’t be mad, I have the kids coming over and I feel I won’t be in the mood to go to the game with you
I’m so mad….. I just smashed a peanut!
#15 You don’t know what I go through as a woman with guys hitting on me
I hear ya sister, I wear a fake wedding ring sometimes
#16 She mentions her work or a co-worker that’s making her mad
Go get em TIGER…. Kill EM!
#17 Never tell a woman what to do , let her come to the conclusion on her own
Do you want me to stop doing (insert anything here)
You do what’s best for you
#18 Broken Date (Last Minute)
Her: I don’t feel well, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight
You: My grandma makes the best chicken soup, but I’m not allowed to tell anybody the recipe
#19. What’s your story?
I’m the first man in 5000 years to understand women (please don’t tell anybody)
#20. Just so we are clear, this is NOT a date
Does this mean I have to update my Diary?
#21 Can I get a kiss? (or anything)
What’s in it for me?
#22 Her: Good night, sweet dreams
I’m going to HUG my pillow very tight, don’t get jealous!
#23 I already shared your picture with my mom
Don’t be surprised if I become her favorite!
#24 Don’t get too attached, I’m a bit of a handful
#25 Can you text me later?
I’ll have to ask my other girlfriends if it’s okay
#26 She tries to ghost you and doesn’t respond to a message
Don’t try and play it cool. You’re already cool.
#27 You try to kiss her and she turns her head
Her: I don’t kiss on the first date
You: Either do I
Her: But you just tried to kiss me
You: That wasn’t me
#28 ZINGER: I washed my cup, but my husband didn’t wash his, so now there is one dirty cup still in the sink
Sounds like a sexy guy, can I get his number?
#29 when she reschedules FIRST date at last minute
Please don’t tell me you’re scared of good vibes and amazing conversation
#30. When she is trying to “control” the little details of your life like what you eat and what you do
You: I’m at the gym
Her: After a shower?
You: I’m just going to watch (diffusing with humor)
Her: That’s a little strange that you showered and then went to the gym
Wrong Response: (explaining yourself to her) It’s not strange, I don’t sweat, I’m just lights lifting weights (explaining yourself)
Right Response: I’m a strange guy
#31. Say NO in a funny way
Her: Hey can you prepare my coffee I’m running late
Wrong Response (wimp): sure, honey
Wrong response: you make a face as if you are annoyed at having to do it
Her: fine, move, I’ll do it ….
Wrong Response (fake tough guy) Hey, I’m busy too, and you woke up late so… I’ve been cleaning these dishes
Right Response: (Positive Challenge) Noooooo! No! Nooooo! (said in a funny way) and then do it
#32. When she subtly tried to criticize you. how to avoid an argument with humor.
Her:
You:
#33. She’s upset with you
Have you figured out why you like me so much yet?
#34: you say something sweet but then you add a little humor challenge
I just want to say that you are the worlds most amazing woman!
- This text will self destruct in 5 minutes and there will be no proof I ever said this
#35 I forgot to tell you I’m in the office
wrong: okay thanks, have a great day
right: you never gave up Richard!
#36. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make it. I have an exam to study for.
You should definitely study for that . I need you to make a million dollars so you can support me
I need you to work hard today so you can make a million dollars and support me …
#37 Lets take it slow I don’t want you to like me too much, it could be dangerous
#38 – I’m on my way…. home sweet homeeeee (voice note)
#39 Can you be serious for a second….
You: I was born without the “serious” gene. It’s a very serious medical condition, will you donate to my charity? pleeeease
#40 You: Are you going to the party?
Her: I don’t know, we’ll see…
You_ can’t_ see me, the D O double G, cause that be ME!
#41 Why are you not here with us? when are you coming?
Am I driving you crazy yet?
#42 You really like me don’t you.
#43 How do you know
Because I’m the first guy in 5000 years to understand you
#44 Let me let you go, i have a date
a date with who?
Mr Bubbles
#45 Her: Good morning!
Today was the weirdest day of my life
How so:
It’s the first time a grandma hasn’t tried to kiss me on the street
#46 you won’t regret it
I better not regret it, or I’m going to sue you….. for $1
#47 You didn’t text me
You’re not going to hurt me are you, I’m very sensitive
#48 Do you want to come sleep in my bed?
Only if you have a teddy bear for me
#49 Make fun of being blocked on social media
Am I blocked? Looks like I’ve been a BAD BOY (….please don’t tell Santa)
#50 I haven’t heard from you all day
That sounds terrible, how did you survive?
#51 Where do you see this relationship going?
Are you saying you want me all to yourself?
#52 WE are the PRIZE FRAME
When she is fishing for a compliment from you (like when she sends a picture of her all dressed up)
You: I think WE are just too good looking. It’s not fair to other people.
#53 That’s weird, Usually girls are stalking me by now
#54 Just to be clear, I’m not looking for a relationship right now
That’s a shame, I’m looking to get married… TODAY!
#55 Her: what’s your relationship philosophy
It takes two to make a thing go right, it takes two to make it out of sight
#56 Get the flowers ready, I’m flying in tomorrow
#57 When she sends you a kiss emoji
Did you just try to kiss me, you know I’m a shy guy, right?
#58. I Like you (especially when said very early on in the relationship)
What took you so long?
#59 How was the massage?
I think the lady liked me, she gave me $1 dollar off
#60 Oh my god, are you sleeping?
Yes, I’m sleeping beauty. The only way to wake me up is with a kiss
#61 Are there going to be a lot of girls there?
Only super models, but they’re sooooo boring
#62 Sorry but in Georgian it is considered vulgar to use any of the swear words, therefore I would feel much comfortable not to use any of these words in any language. Thank you!
Does this mean I’m on Santa’s Naughty list?
#63 When she’s mad that you did something wrong
I’ve been on Santa’s naughty list since 1995!
#64 I didn’t get too see you yesterday
I didn’t want you to fall in love too fast, I wanted you to take your time
#65 Be serious!
I don’t wanna group up, I’m a Toys R Us Kid!
#66 What are you doing?
I’m thinking about the girl I like, Big Bertha, she’s 450 pounds but she has so much love to give
#67 How was your haircut…. (or whatever you were doing)
It went GREAT , I’m even more better looking now
#68 She tries to get you on something and then realizes she was wrong
(all dramatic) Ut, uh….. don’t even go their girlfriend
#69 I stopped by your house but you weren’t home
You sniffin’ my boxers dude?
#70 ….But other guys I’ve dated (sent flowers, texted all the time etc)
…and where are these guys now?
#71. This creepy guy was hitting on me at the supermarket
People just won’t leave us alone. We are too good looking, I had to start wearing a fake wedding ring
#72 I’m going out tonight with my girlfriends…
Do me a favor, don’t flirt with too many guys, I’m a very insecure guy
#73 So and so actor looks so hot in that movie
I trained that guy
#74 When a girl keeps rescheduling the date
Her: I think I may have to reschedule tonight
Nice! at this pace, we will be married by 2076!
#75 Confirm the date without being needy
“Josh Allen” just texted me, he wants to know if I’m coming to the game
#76 How old are you?
How old do you want me to be?
#77 She starts questioning you HARD about something
Wait a second, are you a cop? The law states you have to tell me if you are.
#78 Oh, and you didn’t invite me?
Only the cool kids were invited to this one.
#79 Oops I did again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game.
#80 When she is fishing for information (show you can say NO)
I can’t tell you that, I just met you!
#81 I don’t chase guys
everyone chases me (except 80 year old grandmas, they’re too slow)
#82 I miss you!
Yeah, but do you YEARN for me?
#83 Her: I’m in love with another guy
Does he have a twin brother
#84 Make fun of Love: voice note
#85 You didn’t text me to see if I got home okay
If it makes you feel better, I did dream about you
#86 Where did you go? You disappeared. Where have you been?
Does this mean you missed me?
#87 When she is really really mad!
Oh wow, you really really like me!
#88 “You had such a stressful week. I guess you need to have some fun with a distinguished gentleman like me. How about Thursday at 6pm etc…?”
#89 When she does/says something disrespectful
Most guys hate _______, but I love when girls do it (obviously sarcastic)
#90 She gives you a long lingering hug and won’t let go
Am I going to have to start CHARGING for this hug?
#91 I missed you so much!
Ut-oh, am I going to have to get a restraining order?
#92. Don’t Buy In…. Instead show her you don’t buy in by not taking it seriously by using humor (that you are an insider)
Her: I’m not dating until I reach all of my goals
Wrong answer: I respect that
Wrong call out: that’s BS, if you liked a guy, you would go o on a date
Right response (subtle, you’re an insider): I’m not dating until I can grow a really cool handlebar mustache
#93 Female test: Were you even paying attention to the movie, I saw you looking at your phone the whole time.
Wrong: Why wold you say that. You knew I was waiting for an important text from the office. You knew that.
Right: “I haven’t seen a movie this amazing since Ghost Busters!”
#94 Her: I’m used to guys pursuing me
Are any of those guys still around today?
#95 She just texted me: “I’m sorry I forgot to reply, but I don’t have time right now. And the issue I had, was resolved. Have a nice weekend!”
Excellent! Make sure to leave me 5-star review
#96 I miss you so much!
You: “What, you talkin’ to me?”
97: You’re going to wear that shirt again?
In a high pitched silly voice:
Girlfriend, your jealousy is showing!
98. Can you do me this favor?
Sure, as long as you always let me get my way
99. Are you dating/seeing anyone else?
Only 8 other girls. But I want you to know, you are tied for number 2 (by now she understands your “prize humor”, knows that you are joking and enjoys it)
100. How come you are still single?
I’ve been waiting for you
101. If you are offended by anything on my page, it’s okay if you unfollow me
I never get offended. This one time, I listened to a song with 3 curse words and I didn’t even care!