CHAPTERS
- The BIG idea; guys blow it between dates (past/present), the good news (positive spin) – if you od this right, women fall in love between dates
- The Silly messaging “response” strategy (examples)
- where am I? the 4 phases between dates explained (24 hrs, no date, making the date, date is on the books)
- the process aka the positive roller coaster – “5 emotions you must take her through between dates” 10x (bliss, uncertainty, frustration, relief, anticipation)
- set up date: curve balls (maybe, broken, confirm, withdraw) etc
- the ultimate SHOWDOWN – dare her to walkaway because it MUST be THIS way to work (can’t feel guilty, it’s for HER benefit) after GF you can loosen up here a bit and you’ll be seeing her 2x a week (much easier to do this)
- Valuing your time, including not seeing her between dates in a non-romantic date context , spinning hints and low value offers into GOLD
- misc either start enjoying it right away, a few weeks (like most guys do) or have her in love forever
- builds frustration until she cracks 🙂 – can’t wait, she starts asking you out on dates AND hints at wanting to be your GF – how to handle incoming vs. slowing her down
and really you don’t have to do much besides have self control and send silly messages. send me a Between dates journal and lets look at the chart. Coaching can guide you through the process
doing the right thing between dates is/gets HARDER the more she likes you (and you like her)
The main problem has always been blowing it between dates…
The 80s and 90s: Burning Out That Number
you get a girls number and burn it to the ground (swingers) when he left multiple messages on her answering machine
Before the cell phone, a guy would blow it between dates by calling a girl too soon,. he would get her number and phone her two days later.
Or after a date he would call her the following day and already ask her out again. He would burn out that number fast. One interesting thing of note for guys who came of age during this era, it was VERY rare for a woman to call you, So you didn’t have to worry about her helping undermine and lower her own interest.
The solution was to never call her between dates (except for the one time where you asked her out on the next date) . And doing that was pretty easy (at leastin theory). All you needed was the self control to not to pick up that phone on wait.
Welcome to Texting The 2000s
Now its a completely different world with smart phones, texting and social media. never calling or never interacting with her between dates is damn near impossible today. As such, the odds of a guy blowing his chance between dates is higher than ever. It’s simpler than ever to text her (in only takes a second). Having self control is harder.
But the main issue is now she also likes to reach out and text you between dates. And guess what, her texts are BORING. So you have to know how to respond. You have to navigate getting her to laugh, her frustration, to save it for date etc. It’s a minefield
3 FEELINGS that DESTROY her interest and blow it for you
- feeling like things are moving too fast (pressure)
- she feels like she already has you, you;re too available (you are 24-7)
- the feeling that you are boring and predictable (not fun)
EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE GREAT ON DATES and don’t make the common mistakes, you still provoke these BAD feelings in her by what you do between dates
Like most guys, you’re a good dater, but you suck with women between dates. you have ZERO clue what to do. But to be good with women, you have to know how to get dates, be good on dates, but most importantly you have ot be great between dates.
SHE feels like things are moving too fast
of course she’s going to feel this way. 10 days ago you were total strangers and all of a sudden you’re communicating every day, from good morning to goodnight. yeah, she wanted this but then it hits her… things are going to fast. and guess who gets blamed, YOU. This is where she tells you she wants to slow down and needs some space You only dated her once a week and did a great job on the date, but you’re texting ruined it. You blew it between dates.
SHE feels like she already has you because you’re always available
You didn’t make the common blunders, confessing your feelings, or telling her how beautiful she is evrey 5 seconds.
But you do message with her every day. she knows she has you. and you were too available, In fact you were available 24-7. Never mind that clients have to schedule weeks in advance to get a 20 min meeting with you – with her your available to comment on memes, look at the sunset she sent and like her latest musings on IG. all of this adds up to her feeling like she’s already got you, even though you did everything else right. Again, you did great on the date, you blew it between dates.
She feels like you are BORING (and predictable)
On the dates you’re a funny as Dave Chappell. You show her a great time. you are slightly mysterious too with her doing most of the talking! But unfortunately, your text messages are boring logical and predictable and you’re been sending her dozens of these snoozers a day.
Picture this – every time her phone buzzes (its a let down) a like a $70 bill form Verizon instead of a $50 check from grandma. It’s a HUGE LETDOWN and she associates that letdown with YOU
and even though she was boring what;s up, whay are you doing, good moringom – YOU are th one who gets blamed, not her. now depsit ebeing amaozng ly funy on the daes, she’s duming you for he ex SPIKE. He only throew trasj at me once, he’s changed!
SOLUTION: you need a between daytes startegy
and the main part of that is using SILLY CONFUSING mesages
- you respond to her (instead of ignore0 but she doesn’t get anything tangible, she doent know what you’ve been doing
- its apoite way to convey lets save the ocmversation for the date
- it make ssur eyou dont get ijto a ong bacj and forth (too fast too soon, pressure)
- it’s confusing she will never liek she has you or TAMED YOU
- you are defintlet not BORING
to not text her between date is self control, when she texts you its kowing how ro respond (silly messaging strategy)
using the strategy on a “cleanup case” –
- no texting her (or social media) only responses (hold out for her to contact you)
- silly, confusing message responses ONLY
- not asking her out anymore, look for hints
- if not occasional stay om the radar message, ask her out x times per month
