This is what I call “the process”
It’s the roller-coaster of emotions a woman must go through between dates. All of the ups and downs. The highs and lows. Twists and turns. And it’s best for YOU if she experiences all of them.
This is the also the reason you don’t make the next date while you are already on a date. Because if you do, you bypass the variety of emotions she would have experienced throughout the week.
Emotion 1: Post Date Bliss (Day 1)
If you did a good job on the date, the first thing a woman is going to experience when she gets home is post date bliss. She will be thinking about you and replaying the highlights from the date.
Oh, sweet emotion!
The best thing to do here is leave her alone to bask in the happy chemicals. Because if you contact her right after the date, or worse, exchange a volley of messages back and forth – her feeling of BLISS will wear off faster.
Also –
When you give her space, it’s more likely she will send you the “thank you for the date” text FIRST. When she sends the – “I had a good time” message before you do, it changes the whole dynamic. And now it feels more like she is the one pursuing you.
Emotion 2: Wondering / Uncertainty (Day 2 and 3)
After the 24 hour period of bliss, the wondering begins.
I wonder what he’s up to. I wonder if he’ll text. I wonder what we are going to do next. I know he likes me, but how much? Time to analyze all these important questions with her girlfriends.
After the wondering her emotions turn towards uncertainty. Did he really have a good time. Wait. Now, I’m not so sure.
Although form the male perspective (yours) this whole roller-coaster of emotions stuff sounds like a nightmare, But to women, it’s actually the FUN part of dating. Trying to figure out the puzzle. Solve the mystery. Catch the tiger.
As long as you have genuine interest, you ask her on dates, and act like a perfect gentleman – you are under no obligation to check-in everyday to reassure her how much you like her. (it’s implied)
And if you gave her a shot of truth serum, she would admit that she wouldn’t want you to do that either.
Emotion 3: Frustration (Day 4)
Now you actually are a big meanie!
She curses you out under her breath. In fact, she’s decided she doesn’t need you anyway. Who is this guy? He’s lucky he even got a date with a girl like me. I have tons of other guys after me.
Then her phone buzzes. But it’s not you. Ugh! I can’t stand him. Wait, maybe he messaged me but it didn’t go through. Let me check if my phone is working. Actually, I know he has an Android, let me google to see if there’s been an issue with those phones today.
She’s now frustrated with you for a positive reason (displaying an appropriate level of self-control) versus thinking about her ex-boyfriend Blade – who always told her “never message me while I’m gambling at the Casino”
Emotion 4: Relief (Day 5)
OMG It’s him calling!
I never pick up my phone and when any of the 10 other guys chasing me calls I always kick them straight to voicemail. They can wait.
But when he calls – I always answer on the first ring. I don’t want to miss this. He may not ever call again.
And finally, that sweet feeling of relief.
Once you make the next date with her, the relief feels so good and it’s on to the next essential emotion.
Emotion 5: Anticipation (Days 6 and 7)
It’s all about the next date!
She smiles just thinking about what may happen next. What should I wear? How is this place that he’s taking me to? What should I wear? Let me look it up.
There is however one surefire way to KILL anticipation dead in it’s tracks. And that’s by communicating in the days leading up to the date. If she reaches out, you need to politely let her know you are saving the conversation for the date.
The “Positive” Roller Coaster
Think of this process as a positive roller coaster ride.
It has it’s ups and downs, but it always ends up in a good, safe, fun time. That’s because YOU are a positive challenge (not the toxic jerk), you sincerely like her and you treat her like a gentleman.
It’s also important to remember that being a positive challenge (really just YOU practicing self-control) isn’t just a one hit wonder. Challenge creates a variety of emotions. ie. Wondering, uncertainty, frustration, relief. This puts you on the level of the negative challenge who takes her through a variety of emotions.
Now, before you go and pop the champagne, remember that you’ll have to take her through this process about 8-10 times before she HINTS at wanting to be your girlfriend. And it gets a lot tougher to hold her off the more she likes you.
She will start messaging you more. She may complain or get frustrated with you.
Of course, she can always end that frustration by asking YOU out on a date first. And that’s exactly what happens when you follow these rules.
Is this stuff GREAT or what!