What’s exciting about the #1 feeling is the thrill of the chase. The reward of working hard for something, Putting in the effort. Taking on the challenge. Winning a guy over. Getting someone that she feels is slightly above her, This is the wild roller coaster ride at the amusement park.

Note: this feeling can come in the form of a positive or negative challenge

The #2 feeling (nice guy, wimp) gives her a different type of excitement.

Note: the nice guy #2 feeling guy is just as good looking as the bad boy and makes more money. He’s no schlep.

She’s excited about being in charge. There’s less risk of being hurt or rejected (unlike her last bad-boy boyfriend). This is the “safe” ride at the amusement park.

She’s excited that a guy like this will go along with her agenda (marriage, kids, house) She’s excited about controlling things, Shes excited about being able to”fix’ you.

She likes being put on a pedestal and all the compliments. You’ll entertain her bad moods and play psychologist. You’ll buy gifts and do her favors. She knows you will message her anytime she needs attention.

She’ll be able to cancel plans and break dates and not lose you. She’ll be able to talk with her bad boy ex-boyfriend and you won;’t say anything, She will win 99% of the disagreements.

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One, she needs to be physically attracted to a guy. Two, she carves a challenge, And third, she needs romance/validation.

The problem is, she can’t find all 3 of these qualities in the same guy. So she’s usually dating or “hanging out” with up to 3 guys in order to get her fill.

For example –

She’s physically attracted to Matt and they’re going on dates, but he poses ZERO challenge. So at 2am she heads over to Spike’s house to get some (negative) challenge. And then on Sunday, she goes to a movie with Victor, who is deep in the friend zone, but he gives her a daily does of compliments and validation.

You Are “Out Of Order”

Now, some guys may even have all 3 of these qualities. Maybe you do as well.

However, your problem is that you are displaying them in the WRONG order.

The 3 Steps

1. Step 1: Be Attractive
2. Step 2; Pose a Challenge
3. Step 3: Give Her Compliments and Validation (Romance)

For example –

You say, I’m not starting a conversation with that girl. Women should approach me, You are out of order because you are trying to be a challenge (#2) before you have displayed attractiveness to her (#1) .

She finds you attractive (step #1) but then you start confessing all your feelings (step #3) before giving her any challenge (step #2) You are out of order because she doesn’t yet appreciate your validation because she’s not in love with you yet. (Hint: being a challenge – step 2 would have done that)

Or how about the super nice guy who goes straight to complimenting her (step #3) before he has even been attractive or a challenge. These are the guys that end up as her friend or therapist.

There is a “Specific” Order To This

First, she has to find you attractive. You have to be her type, physically. She also has to enjoy your conversation and think, I’d give this guy a shot.

But then next, you have to give her a challenge. A positive one. Just because she is attracted to you physically, doesn’t mean you can skip giving her challenge and go straight into being romantic (#3).

There is a specific order to this.

Finally, after she has found you attractive and given her a challenge – and she’s head over heels (ie. asking you if you want to be her boyfriend) – NOW you can start being romantic and revealing some feelings for her. Because now she actually values yoru validation because she’s in love with you.

Now you have become that super rare guy who gives her everything she needs (the 3 qualities) in just one man.

The BIG Relationship Mistake

Here’s one final mistake men make.

They are attractive. They give her a positive challenge. But then they give her ZERO romance. No compliments. Not even one small gift or funny card. Big mistake.

Maybe they’re paranoid about not being enough of challenge or they’re one of these fake tough guys that are afraid to be vulnerable,

Either way, this becomes a problem, because she doesn’t see your lack of romance as you being a challenge/attractive – she sees it as you are scared.

Now, you don’t have to go overboard but part of maintaining your relationship is doing and saying something sweet from time to time. Keep dating her.

If not, she will look for that “romance and validation” outside the relationship (a “friend” from work perhaps) or she will just pick arguments with you. Which could lead you to losing your cool which will lower her interest more and then you are HISTORY.

Remember guys, you need to be all 3 of these qualities, but more importantly, you need to display them in the correct order.