Here’s the truth.
Dating and relationships are supposed to be light and fun. It’s about laughing and having fun experiences together (going on dates) It’s about having positive uplifting conversations. It’s not supposed to be serious.
So anything that takes you away from that fundamental truth is called “buying in”
Anything that takes you away from light and fun is DRAMA (and not the good kind)
The most obvious case of “buying in” is when she claims – I’m busy, my Dad is sick, or I’m stressed out because of work. Newsflash – that is NOT the reason she’s been moody and distant, you are. People do what they are interested in doing and right now she has low interest in you. So if you buy into those excuses you are RATIONALIZING her behavior.
if the source of her complaints are of the “you don’t like me enough” variety. ask yourself, is that really accurate? Because if not, then don’t buy in. Keep the playful humor going!
Another example of buying in would be that when there is a breakup, there has to be a heavy dark cloud permanently hanging over the relationship. That there needs to be long talks and deep logical discussions.
Because if you listen to any of this or actually respond to it (have a talk) then you lose. She thinks, i thought this guy was cool, how could he take this stuff seriously. Remember the real issue is you weren’t a challenge and you didn’t keep things light and fun. You were too serious and reactive.
if there’s is a problem, then you get back to the basics. Humor, giving her a positive challenge, not reacting, show you can walk away and the right amount of “liking her” (validation)
The #1 feeling in the world is working hard and chasing a guy. The #2 feeling is being put on a pedestal.
The #1 feeling is when a guy is non-reactive. The #2 feeling is when he takes your drama seriously and loses his cool. (because you know you can control him)
the #1 feeling is when you a guy makes you laugh and you can’t tame his humor. The #2 feeling is when he’s your therapist and you talk about deep stuff and problems.
