“It’s okay if she “knows” that you LIKE her, but she can never “feel” that she HAS TAMED you“
In the previous lesson we learned how every girl has dated at least one negative challenge in her past. Often times, her recent past.
This is a guy who for whatever reason REJECTED her. Sometimes her ex just didn’t like her much, so that gave her the ultimate challenge. And other times her last boyfriend was just a plain old fashioned jerk who treated her badly.
Now, although this guy may be long gone, his memory still hangs around you like a ghost, haunting your chances at having a relationship with her. And so the only way to erase his memory for good, is to be a positive challenge.
No Challenge = No Chance
First let’s define what a CHALLENGE means:
Challenge is the amount of work and effort a woman has/had to put in to win you over.
If it’s too easy, she doesn’t feel like you are worth it.
Women CRAVE challenge. She needs a puzzle to solve. A mystery to figure out. A prize to win. But most guys don’t give her any challenge at all.
They immediately spill their guts, confess their feelings and do whatever she wants. Boooring. So in order to get that exciting feeling of challenge that she desperately craves, she’s forced to choose a negative one.
In fact, most girls have never experienced a positive challenge in their entire lives. They just cycle back and forth between the “negative challenge” and the “pushover wimp”.
When the bad boy breaks her heart, she immediately goes and dates his complete opposite (the nice guy) for a few weeks. After being put on a pedestal, she gets bored and dumps Mr. Wimp and goes right back to dating Mr. Wrong. It’s a depressing cycle, but she truly believes that these are her only two options.
Until you come along.
Who is a Positive Challenge?
The motto of the positive challenge is: I like you – BUT
- I like you – BUT you can never tame me
- I like you – BUT I can say NO
- I like you – BUT I have a busy life outside of you
Unlike the negative challenge, you actually care about her and treat her like a gentleman. However, that doesn’t mean you’re going to let her walk all over you.
That’s what the wimp does. His motto is: I like you SO.
- I like you, SO I will do anything you ask
- I like you, SO I will never say NO to you
- I like you, So you can walk all over me
My point is – it’s okay to like her. The challenge should never be that you don’t like her or you treat her badly. Your challenge is that you like her, but you can’t be tamed.
This way she gets the best of both worlds. A guy that really likes her, COMBINED with a guy who gives her something to chase. It’s a win, win for everybody.
By the way, when I say that you will never let her TAME you, I’m not talking about dating multiple women or refusing to get into a relationship with her.
I’m saying that you should never let her tame your HUMOR, put a low price tag on your TIME, or tame your REACTIONS. These are 3 life-long “challenges” that will keep her chasing you forever. (more on this later in the program)
She’s Never Met a Guy Like You
Let me be clear, The positive challenge is the complete opposite of every other guy she’s ever dated.
She’s dated guys that just didn’t like her. And she’s dealt with wimps that were madly in love with her and did whatever she wanted.
But she has NEVER in her entire life, had a guy that she knows really likes her, but can still be a challenge and politely slow her down. It’s a rare thing.
To her, meeting a positive challenge would be like seeing a UNICORN walking down the street. She’s like, what the heck is that thing? I’ve never seen that before.
That’s YOU.
Her 3 Dating Options
A woman has 3 choices for a relationship:
3rd Choice: The NO Challenge Guy (Nice Guy/Wimp)
The wimp is attractive in that he’s totally obsessed with her and does pretty much whatever she wants. She calls all the shots and controls the relationship. Plus, she doesn’t have to worry about being rejected (a nice perk) Eventually though, even having total control isn’t enough for her and she seeks out a challenge (albeit a negative challenge)
Did I mention the wimp is handsome, has a great job and is everything she’s ever wanted on paper? Doesn’t matter… she still loses attraction for the wimp.
2nd Choice: The Negative Challenge (Bad Boy)
This guy gives her a “challenge” but only because he has LOW interest in her. It’s easy for him not to text her a lot or want to hangout. That’s because he’s not really interested. Of course, this makes her chase him even more.
This is a huge waste of time for her and him. He should be going after a woman he has higher interest in and she should want a guy who actually likes her. No matter what she does or how hard she tries, this guy is just NOT attracted to her.
But she will choose the negative challenge over the wimp – or sometimes just switch back and forth between dating the two.
There is also the Negative Challenge that abuses his position of power. He uses her for favors, money or is verbally abusive and puts her down. This is the worst kind.
Some negative challenges will never again allow themselves to have feelings for any woman. They’ve been hurt in the past and are now too scared to be vulnerable. (former wimps)
1st Choice: The Positive Challenge
This is a guy that she really likes, who also likes her.
However, despite the fact that he really likes her, he has “self-control” and can take things slowly. He’s not needy. And he can even slow her down if necessary. All of the things that guys usually give her for FREE, he makes her work for. The positive challenge doesn’t try to “control her” and he definitely doesn’t let her “control him”.
The Perfect Package: This gives her everything she’s ever wanted, all rolled into ONE perfect guy. She gets the “safety” of the nice guy COMBINED with “challenge” of the bad boy.
Not many girls have even met a guy like this in their lives. She may not even know this #1 option exists.
Think of it like this – A wimp does nice things all the time. A negative challenge NEVER does nice things. And the positive challenge does sweet things once in a while when she’s won him over and earned it.
So when you see a woman complaining on Social Media about how she’s giving up on men. Realize it’s because she’s only dated negative challenges (guys she liked that weren’t into her) and guys she could walk all over (wimps)
She hasn’t yet dated the #1 option. A positive challenge. (YOU)
She Needs a Positive “Dopamine Hit”
She wants her brain to light up,
She wants that hit of dopamine.
Now, the “negative challenge” gives her that BIG dopamine hit but with negative after-effects. He’s a cheater, liar, there’s drama, he doesn’t really like her etc. Kind of like how doing DRUGS can make you feel HIGH (you get the dopamine), but you end up broke, living in the gutter and stealing $20 from grandmas wallet.
Not what you want.
The positive challenge (you) gives her that positive dose of dopamine. Like the feeling you get when you hike up to the top of a beautiful mountain. You feel great (dopamine rush) but the exercise is also good for your physical and mental health.
The problem is most guys give her no dopamine at all (no challenge or humor) So she’s forced to hangout in the seedy part of town with all the low-lives hoping to get her “negative fix”. She desperately wishes some guy would come along and give her the positive dopamine.
Remember, negative and positive challenges can both create attraction – but a negative challenge can’t be sustained, whereas a positive one can last forever (50 years).
Warning!
“Realize that she prefers guys who’ve done a couple years in Rikers over you“
There are a small percentage of women who will still choose a negative challenge over a positive challenge.
This is a huge red flag and usually only happens if she has low self-esteem. Meaning, when you don’t like yourself much, you think that anybody who does like you (meaning YOU) must be an even bigger loser. This is why the negative challenge is so irresistible to her.
Here’s 5 of the Best “Positive” Challenges:
Her friends asked her, how come with all of these guys chasing you on the dating apps, you picked the one guy who doesn’t text or call you that much?
Remember, it’s okay to like her. It’s fine to go on dates. And you can be a nice guy. As long as you also give her a positive challenge.
- SILLY TEXTING: You ask her out on dates, but don’t “message” with her during the week unless it’s SILLY
- YOU VALUE YOUR TIME: putting a HIGH price tag on your time has two components – the amount of time you give her AND in what time slots/venues you allow your time to be given away. For example, instead of being available to message 24-7 or quick “hangouts”, you only accept one on one romantic dates.
- HUMOR: You’re a perfect gentleman, but you never let her tame your humor, ruin your mood or make you “serious”
- MAKE HER EARN/WORK FOR IT: You kiss her and build romantic tension, but you’re also a “physical challenge” that makes her work to get more of you
- WALK AWAY FOR THE DAY: You can say NO. You don’t accept disrespectful behavior, but you keep your cool and never react emotionally
The 4 “Secret Ingredients” That Make Any Woman Fall In Love
Homework
After a few drinks, she revealed the truth:
Her Words: “sometimes I like it when I can’t have what I want. I just want you to want me, but not NEED me“
Every girl needs some kind of challenge. Even Mother Teresa. Likely because the way nature is setup, the female is the prize and everyone is chasing her. So when she actually gets a challenge, she’s intrigued.
Take a few minutes to write down what positive challenges you’re going to give her. Remember, no challenge, equals no chance.
Main Point: It’s okay if she knows that you LIKE her (it’s actually an advantage), but she can never feel that she HAS TAMED you.