There’s a major lack of boldness in dating today. Instead of having to start a conversation in person (scary) – guys can just wait for a girl to contact them first on a dating app.
Instead of having to ask for her phone number (terrifying) – guys will ask her if she’s on Instagram and “follow” her first.
You no longer have to call her up on the phone to ask for a date (if you’ve never tried it, it kinda feels like you’re having a heart attack)
Now you can just “text her for the date”
Be Confident (Not Vague) +5
Look, I get it, There is no worse emotion than being rejected by a girl. And so guys have become downright geniuses at coming up with creative ways to avoid it.
However –
The downside is, when you come across as vague, women can’t give you any BOLD points, And so you leave all of those VALUABLE confidence points on the table. And believe me, you will be needing them later.
False Start: 5 Yard Penalty
When you begin your love campaign by being vague, she throws a “false start” penalty flag. So now you’re moving back 5 yards for being a wuss.
Here’s some examples.
- Friending her on Facebook because you’re too scared to ask for her phone number
- Inviting her to hangout in a group, so you don’t have to risk rejection by asking her on an “official date”
- Saying, “would you like to kiss me?”
- Getting her number off of a contact list at the gym so you never had to ask for her number directly
And there’s dozens more ways to never have to put your EGO on the line and risk rejection. But the problem is, she knows EXACTLY what you’re doing. She knows you were scared.
She may still be interested, but she can’t give you those extra 5 bold points. Or worse, you get penalized 5 points for not being confident and now you’re down to 45 points which puts you out of the running.
Here’s 4 Ways, To Get All 5 Bold Points
- You start a conversation with her in-person (versus online)
- You directly ask for her phone number (versus pretending it’s for something else)
- You call her up on the phone for the date (versus text her)
- You kiss her at the end of the date
The best part is, hardly any guys are being bold anymore. It’s rare now for a guy to confidently strike up a conversation in person. It’s even rarer for a guy to call her up and ask for a date. So this is truly your opportunity to stand out from the pack.
You Only Get “One Chance” To Be Bold
The thing about BOLD points, is that you only get one chance to get them. Once the moment passes, the opportunity to add them to your score, is gone forever. She will always remember how you approached her and if you CONFIDENTLY asked for her number. You can’t go back and fix this later.
Now, she still may go out on a date with you, but she won’t FEEL as attracted as she could have been. And when she doesn’t have the #1 feeling for you, not coming across confident, will be a big reason why.
Who Is Chasing Who?
And here’s another thing.
A lot of what we do during the “dating phase” can be considered passive. Remember, we want her to be chasing us. So, we often give her a chance to initiate first. We don’t contact her much between dates. And if she wants to be our girlfriend, it has to be HER idea. We wait for her to invite us inside. etc.
So, there are really only 4 times where we’re taking the lead and being bold:
- When we start the conversation
- when we ask for her phone number
- when we call her up for the date
- and when we go for the first kiss.
After that , everything that happens ONLY happens because she wants it to. We never force anything.
Video Companion
Making The Move IS Attractive
Think of it like this. Before you asked for her number, she gave you a score of 55. (out of 100)
However, after you asked for her phone number (which shows confidence) – her score for you is bumped up 5 points to 60. In other words, being bold (moving things forward) was seen as attractive.
Thus, there really is no downside to being BOLD. You either gain 5 points, or you get confirmation that she’s NOT interested.
Unfortunately, this phenomenon works in reverse too.
If her score for you is 55 and you are vague,..
She deducts 5 points because you were scared. And now you are OUT.
The point is this, you can’t wait around until she has 100% interest in you to make your move.
Because a lot of times it’s making the bold move, that makes her like you.
In other words, MAKING THE MOVE IS ATTRACTIVE