Okay, so everything seems to be going well.
But how can you tell if she’s really interested?
The short answer is – does she make this dating process difficult for you or EASY for you (in other words, does she HELP you out)
Women are hard enough to get when they like you, if they don’t, it’s damn near impossible.
Here’s 3 ways to crack the code:
She RESPONDS. SHE ACCEPTS. and SHE SHOWS UP.
- One, she makes it easy for you to get in touch with her via calls or text so you can set up the date (or if not, she calls you back immediately)
- Two, she says YES (not maybe) and accepts the date (or gives you a specific counter-offer for a different day)
- And third, and most importantly, she actually shows up for the date and doesn’t cancel last minute
If she’s making it hard and not HELPING you in any of these 3 areas, there’s a problem. However, if you can learn how to jump these “hurdles” you can stay in the game.
Sometimes women are so used to guys accepting their flaky behavior, that she just does it on “autopilot”. And so if you went along with it, your score would automatically drop below the point of no return. However, if you handle these “tests” the right way, you can actually gain points because she will gain respect for you.
Dating Game #1: She Makes It Hard For You To Reach Her
Being hard to reach is her first line of defense.
It’s no coincidence that it takes her 48 hours to respond every time you text. Or that her phone goes straight to voicemail every time you call.
Asking her on a date becomes impossible when she’s making it extremely difficult for you to even get a hold of her. Again, this is no accident.
I’ve come to learn that if she doesn’t pickup, she rarely calls back.
Her other game is straight up IGNORING the fact that you asked her out.
Here’s how it works.
She starts responding to your texts, but once you mention that you would like to “grab a drink on Thursday night” she simply stops responding. Not a yes. Not a no, Just radio silence.
And when she does surface again, no mention is ever made that you had asked her on a date. Now you’re in the unwinnable position of having to ask her out for a second time. All while telling yourself – maybe she just didn’t see my message. Yeah, right.
How To Pass:
You pass this test by always calling her on the phone for the date, not texting, If she doesn’t answer the phone, or call you back, it’s her loss. She won’t be getting asked out by a positive challenge.
Dating Game #2: Asking Her Out – Anything Other Than Yes = NO
If you can actually get a hold of her, the next hurdle is her “busy schedule”. Funny how when a woman has low interest her schedule always seems to be a problem
Okay let’s say that you can actually get a hold of her.
So you call and ask her out for Wednesday night at 7pm. The next thing you hear is – Oh sorry, I’m busy on Wednesday.
Sounds legit enough. People are busy. But it’s not about what she said, it’s all about what she didn’t say. You didn’t hear a counter-offer.
The Counter Offer:
For example she says – But ‘m free on Thursday. Or, but I’d love to go on Friday. Or Saturday. Or next week. Or next month. Nope, she didn’t mention any of that. Bottom line, she didn’t help you set up a date.
She’s SORRY, but not sorry enough to give you counter offer.
Here’s a tricky one.
The Non-Specific Counter Offer:
Sometimes she will say – that sounds fun, let’s do it some other time. Now before you get all excited, notice she wasn’t SPECIFIC. Meaning, she didn’t name a specific day or time. All you have is some vague suggestion of a date that may or may not ever happen in the future. Newsflash: it’s never happening.
There’s an old saying – anything other than YES equals NO, So if she says she’s busy, stressed or “might” be going to Boston for the weekend, she’s indirectly telling you to GET LOST.
How To Pass:
Simple. You can never ask her out again. Weeks later when she realizes you haven’t asked her out 20 more times like all the other chumps who can’t take a hint, she will respect you. She still won’t be interested in you, but she will respect you.
Dating Game #3: She Cancels The Date (Broken Dates)
Okay so she actually picked up the phone and she said YES to the date. So far so good. But then, a few hours before the date, you see a text. Yep, she’s canceling. She’s not feeling well. Or something completely unexpected came up.
By the way, it’s never a normal boring excuse. It’s always some crazy story for why she can’t make it. And it’s never two days before the date. It’s always last minute.
Here’s The Deal –
If she cancels a date, for any reason, you’re in big trouble. I don’t want to sugarcoat this. This usually means it’s over. But let’s pretend for a minute that her cat really did need emergency surgery. If this was true, she would call you up and beg to make it up to you.
How To Pass:
The Fake Tough Guy: First, let me say that you don’t let on that you’re mad or sad by not responding at all or texting her back with a simple – OK.
The No worries Guy: And you also don’t message her back saying – hey, totally cool, no worries (with a hang loose emoji) either.
The correct play is to text her back something totally wacky that throws her off and then you disappear.
Her: I’m so sorry I think I’m not going to be able to make it tonight.
You: Mr Lover Man… Shabba!
After that, the only way to handle a “broken date” is to stop contacting her. Then wait for her call you up, apologize and then beg to make it up to you.
If that call never comes, you’ll know for sure she wasn’t truly interested. She didn’t even pretend to put up a fight to try and keep you. She not sorry and she doesn’t care enough to make it up to you. She’s fine letting you drift away.
And before you try and rationalize her excuses, ask yourself this – how many dates have you broken with a girl that you really liked in your entire life.
Exactly. Zero.
Dating Game #4: Downgrades
A downgrade is when she tries change your plan to something that feels LESS like a date. It could be a change from having dinner, to a quick lunch. Or from grabbing drinks to meeting for coffee.
How To Pass; Withdraw Your Offer
If she tries to downgrade the date, you politely withdraw the offer. Tell her, that’s okay, we’ll just make it some other time. Because if you agree to her downgrade, before you know it, you guys will be eating the early bird breakfast special at Denny’s.
Another version of the downgrade is the “squeeze play” or “rush job”
This is when she accepts the date but tells you – I’m getting my nails done at 4pm and I’m meeting my friends at 9pm. So we can meet at 7pm for a little while.
As tempting as it may be to see her, everything is going to feel rushed and she will have many other things on her mind besides you.
Again, in this case you would politely withdraw the offer. Sounds like you have a lot going on, let’s just make it some other time.
Dating Game #5: The “Maybe” Date
This is the sneakiest test of all.
And most guys handle this wrong.
Here’s where she gives you some version of – I really want to see you. I’m like 99% sure I can make it.
But first I have to check if my friend from college is coming to town. Or I may have a big work project to finish. Or we may be going to Coachella. I’ll text you later in the week and let you know for sure.
Obviously if you go along with this, you’re indirectly telling her that you are available 24-7 anytime she wants. You might as well tell her you’ll be sleeping with your phone desperately waiting for her to get back to you.
How To Pass:
Again, this is where you would politely withdraw the offer and tell her that she sounds busy and you’ll just make it some other time.
Of course when you try and withdraw the offer, the best response from her is – No, No, No! I really want to see you. Let’s lock it in now. I’ll be able to make it. (test passed)
The Withdraw-Deadline:
Another option when she gives you a “maybe date” is to set a firm DEADLINE. Meaning, if she says she’s not 100% sure she can make Thursday at 8pm, you say, well, my week is pretty booked up, so you’ll have to let me know by Tuesday at 5pm.
It’s All About RESPECT
“If you don’t respect your own TIME, how can she respect you?“
Another thing that might come up is her saying she’s tired (yawns) or is in a bad mood. If this happens you should immediately end the date and take her home.
Because if you decide to hang around her when she’s exhausted or feeling grumpy, she’s going to associate those bad feelings with you. Much better to get out of there and just make it some other time.
I won’t lie.
If she’s playing any of these 5 dating games, there’s likely trouble in paradise. But if her interest in you is still positive, and you pass these tests, you may still make it out alive.
if you don’t buy into her dating games she will like you more, because she will RESPECT you.