A lot of my clients love to talk about the “connection” they have with a girl.
They go on and on about all the things they have in common.
Hey, nothing wrong with that. But that all falls under the category of having a “verbal connection” She enjoys talking to you and you make her laugh.
But there’s often ONE missing ingredient.
Your mistake?
You never established a “non-verbal” connection. Otherwise know as, the VIBE between you guys when you’re NOT TALKING.
The Non-Verbal Connection
Beneath all the fun conversation there should be a ROMANTIC vibe between you.
There should be some romantic TENSION.
Because if you don’t have that kind of connection with her, you really have NO connection at all.
We converse about childhood and have a few romantic “tense moments” looking at each other in public.
Remember being a challenge doesn’t mean pretending you don’t find her attractive. You CAN let her know that you find her attractive, but you tell her using your VIBE, not with words.
So how do you create that VIBE in person?
Well, there’s really no need to force it. This vibe happens naturally when you’re not trying so hard and talking too much.
Magic Movie Moments
For example, when you just listen to her, there will eventually be moments of silence. And in those moments of silence there will be some romantic tension.
You’ll both feel it.
Now, if you don’t get uncomfortable when this romantic TENSION shows up, you will have an attractive moment with her.
That moment of silence where you lock eyes and you smile. Then she smiles back and blushes for a second and looks away.
Boom!
Another magic moment.
I like to call these “magic movie moments” because if you watch any movie this is how they let you know that the two characters have chemistry and something is going to happen between them.
I’m sure you’ve noticed it.
Don’t Break The “Romantic Tension:”
The key is NOT to break this tension first.
Because if you break it off, it signals to her that you’re uncomfortable and that you feel like she’s out of your league. (remember she thinks you’re a #1 feeling guy)
So if you look uneasy, it’s a real let down for the woman.
Examples of breaking the romantic tension
- When you hold eye contact with her and then look away real fast like you got caught doing something wrong
- When you accidentally get a bit too close to her and immediately jump back
- When there is an awkward pause in the conversation and you start stuttering or fidgeting because the “romantic tension” it creates makes you uncomfortable
Bottom line, if you break any of these moments of “romantic tension” you will end up in the friend zone.
However, if you stay cool when they appear, she will be very attracted to you.
Because truth is….
Attraction happens when you aren’t trying. When things are “quiet”
Like, during a moment of silence (…even a slightly awkward one)
Or when you hold eye-contact just a second too long
A lot of times attraction happens when you accidentally move a bit closer and you both feel that ELECTRICITY
And it definitely shows up when she TESTS you, and you don’t REACT at all
These are the moments when she realizes that she’s attracted to you.
And as you can see, these are all small moments, not BIG ones
These are the moments you should be looking to create.
But if you never stop talking… or you’re always trying too hard… you won’t ever have a special moment like this with her