It’s not always ice cream and rainbows.
In fact, if you tell me that you guys always get along, you’ve never had a disagreement and she’s never been frustrated, then I know for sure you’ve been scared to follow the plan.
Because when you follow the rules (use humor and challenge) she’s not always going to be jumping for joy. She will, at times, show some light frustration.
That’s why Rule #5 is usually the hardest to follow.
Most guys don’t cause any frustration and the others get VERY afraid when she gets even the tiniest bit upset. Then they immediately give in, apologize and go back to being the wimp.
However, never forget THIS –
It’s a good thing when a woman shows some light frustration. It means that she’s having a reaction towards you (versus being indifferent). She is engaged. You can’t care if you don’t care.
In other words, the rules are working!
Success Story:
Before I knew the rules, I would have texted her every day between dates. My (now) girlfriend says that it drove her nuts that I didn’t text her, but at the same time, she loved it. She says not texting made her really look forward to seeing me and showed her that I had a life of my own
The 4 Types Of Girls (The 4 C’s)
When it comes to handling frustration, step one is understanding what type of woman you are dealing with.
You can tell which type of girl you have by her reaction to the RULES. What happens when you don’t initiate any texts? How does she respond to your silly humor? Does she ask to see you if you stop asking her out?
So the question is, do you have a complainer, a controller or a chaser on your hands? Or, maybe you’re dealing with a care-less type. Let’s find out.
Girl #1 The Complainer:
Complaining isn’t the same is CHASING
The good news is that you are getting a reaction, it’s just not the one you want. The complainer isn’t showing TRUE high interest in you (despite what guys may think, complaining doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested) but she’s complaining that you need to be showing MORE interest in her.
Her M.O.: I’ve been hurt by a guy in the past so now you’re going to pay for his sins (low self-esteem)
Her Reaction to Challenge: Why don’t you message me more? You don’t really like me. If you actually cared you would have you texted. Accuses you of being emotionally unavailable.
Her Reaction to Humor: I want you to be more serious. share your feelings, let’s talk about your problems
Here’s my take:
So let me get this straight — because you’ve been burned by some JERK in the past, now I’m not allowed to use positive challenge and humor to raise your interest in me. So I have to get you to fall madly in love with me without being able to use my 2 best weapons. That makes absolutely no sense!
The complainer doesn’t ENJOY challenge and humor because she needs to be reassured every five minutes that you’re truly (pinky swear) interested in her. She’s been hurt by a jerk in the past (a jerk that she chose and stayed with by the way)
So even if you reassured her 24-7 with hundreds of text messages a day, this kind of wimpy behavior would eventually turn her off (even though she asked for it). It’s the classic example of a Catch-22 and you can’t win.
#2 The Controller:
The controller sets herself apart with her cold emotionless ULTIMATUMS. You get that uneasy feeling she could walk away at any second and never look back (and you’d be right!)
Her M.O.: It’s my way or the highway. If I can’t be in 100% CONTROL then I don’t want you. Controlling you is what I like about you best about you. Control is her constellation prize to make up for her lack of interest in you in other areas.
Her Reaction to Challenge: she gives you an ultimatum, I need a guy who communicates, if you can’t text me it’s over. You should have communicated more.
Her Reaction To Humor: she won’t find it funny and she won’t play along. A guy in a good mood with a sense of humor is a threat to her control over him. Humor is the antithesis of control.
The controller hates humor because her goal is to tame your mood and step 1 is to tame your humor and make you become serious. To her, romantic love is serious business and laughing and being silly is not allowed!
Here’s an analogy for the controller.
Picture you had a boring job that you weren’t crazy about, but they let you work remotely. Then one day the boss suddenly says you have to come into the office every day from now on. What you liked best about the job (working from home) has been taken away and now you want to quit.
It’s the same with women –
When you don’t give a woman any challenge (boring job) what she likes best is the control she has over you (working remote) It’s the runner-up prize. She’s in charge. So when you suddenly try to be a challenge and use humor she doesn’t like it because it’s at odds with having control over you, which is the only thing left that she liked about you.
#3 The Care-Less:
Her M.O. The classic example of a girl that ONLY goes out with you with you because she has nothing better going on at the moment. She does just enough to keep you hoping you have a chance
Her Reaction to Challenge: None. I didn’t even notice that you’ve been gone for a month and haven’t texted me. In fact, she likes it because she doesn’t have to come up with excuses or pretend that she has “high interest”. She may have even been relieved that you saved her the trouble of having to officially end things with you.
Her Reaction to Humor: NO reaction, good or bad. If she didn’t get your joke she wouldn’t even spend the 10 seconds to try and figure it out.
I only include the example of the “care less” girl so you can see how getting ZERO FRUSTRATION from a woman is actually a bad sign. No frustration means our two biggest weapons, challenge and humor, are having no effect. Not good.
#4 The Chaser:
Her Attitude: challenge accepted, I’ll eventually win you over and it will be fun!
Her reaction to Challenge: when you don’t text she cracks and sends you a message first. – where you been stranger?
Her reaction to Humor: she laughs, she’s plays along, she’s sometimes confused or a bit frustrated, but she chuckles to herself – I will get him to be serious!
The chaser loves to take on the challenge to try and tame you. To make you more serious. Although she knows she never actually wants to tame you. But she will have fun trying!
Your “Game Plan” For Each Type of Girl
#1 The Complainer
The Key: Usually her complaining all stems back to her dating and being hurt by a negative challenge in her past.
So she’s really complaining about what he did, not you. Everything she says to you, is what she secretly wishes she said to him. Even though you are giving her a positive challenge, it still stirs up emotions of the negative challenges of the past.
Finally here’s her chance to stand up to him! With the nice guy (you) filling in as the punching bag. It’s only possible because you are giving her a challenge, but you’re also a good guy that will listen to it (and actually take it seriously)
Game Plan: If you calmly allow the complainer to walk away on her own, she will eventually come back to you as a “chaser” and stop complaining about getting the positive challenge and humor she’s always wanted. She will eventually stop fighting you and surrender to her happiness!
#2 The Controller
The controller is a bit trickier. She either doesn’t want a challenge from ANY guy, or she just doesn’t want a challenge from you. Either way, you have a problem.
Game Plan: Odds are low for this. You may have to allow her to walk away several times before she gives up her need for control and embraces challenge and humor.
#3 The Care-Less
Sorry to say but if challenge and humor are having ZERO effect, than she never had enough interest in you from the very beginning to give this thing a fighting chance.
Game Plan: There’s really no way to turn her around. So it’s better that you learn that early on before falling in love with her and wasting your time. I would walk away now and not look back. Don’t worry she won’t even notice you’re gone.
#4 The Chaser
Even the chaser might show some light frustration from time to time. Hey, it’s only natural – she wants to see and hear from you more. She wants things to move faster, but unlike the complainer, she won’t NAG you non-stop.
Game Plan: Your job is to keep the chase going (for her benefit) Just never rub it in her face or become over-confident, because remember, you are doing this for her.
Allow Her To Walk Away (…Because She Can’t)
When she threatens to walk away over your SILLY HUMOR (you’re never serious) or your LIMITED TEXTING (I need a guy who communicates with me more) – you calmly allow her to.
UNLESS YOU ARE AN EXTREME NEGATIVE CHALLENGE, OR YOU TAKE HER 100% FOR GRANTED (you never do anything sweet) A WOMAN CAN NOT LEAVE YOU for being a challenge (going slow), using humor and calmly standing up for yourself.
People Are Selfish
THE REASON SHE CAN’T WALK AWAY FROM THAT AMAZING FEELING YOU PROVIDE IS BECAUSE HUMAN BEINGS ARE SELFISH!
SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS (so why ever confess them), SHE ONLY CARES IF SHE IS FEELING GOOD!
Reality says that when something makes you feel AMAZING, you aren’t just going to walk away from it for a silly reason (ie. not texting enough). It’s also why a woman takes such a long time to walk away from a negative challenge, despite the fact that he treats her so badly.
And remember –
If you allow a woman to walk away because you’re being a positive challenge and silly, it’s different than when she walks away because of having LOW interest. This time you are in the drivers seat. She wants you, she just wants to negotiate better terms. Stay strong, she will back.
Remember, she’s bluffing OR she doesn’t really want a positive challenge. She just wants someone to control (you)
Get Comfortable “Being Uncomfortable”
Women are comfortable, being uncomfortable.
She doesn’t flinch when things are uncertain. She can be mad at you and still keep her cool. She can really like you and not contact you for a few days (sometimes this is an unconscious test)
Men are different. We want to know exactly where we stand at all times. We don’t like hot and cold behavior. We get confused when she pulls back. We get nervous if we think that she’s upset with us.
However, if you want her to fall in love, you need to get comfortable during the times when things feel (temporarily) uncomfortable. Don’t say or do anything rash. Don’t send that text that says – is everything alright? Don’t pressure her by trying to do more.
You need to be able to weather the storm and live in that uncertainty. If you can keep calm, she will eventually come back around.
ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN #1: TEXTING AND HUMOR
You may as well set this up right from the very beginning, because once you get started its really hard to go back.
You want convey right from the beginning that – I am not going to text much between dates and if you text me I am not going to text you “serious stuff” or let you know all about what I’ve been doing (I only do that on a date) . And so if you want to walk away because of that, I dare you to try (she cant)
If she gets frustrated and threatens to walk, dare (allow her) her to walk away (she will be back) remember, it has to be this way or its not going to work (for her benefit)
You are not the one walking away. These are just your standards and you are daring her to walk away from them.
They Always Comes Back
It’s similar to what companies do to us.
JetBlue suddenly wants to charge $50 to check a bag (raising their value) And at first, you throw a fit and threat to walk away and never fly with them again.
But of course, a month later you’re flying to Miami and you paid the 50 bucks. They know no matter what you said, you couldn’t walk away. You like flying JetBlue. You aren’t going anywhere. And either is she.
These Rules Protect You
By following the rules you weed out the women with low self-esteem, the controlling types and the low interest fakers that want to waste your time. And you get rid of them much sooner.
The good news is that the girls who have REAL interest, will start CHASING YOU. She always wanted to, but by following the rules you finally got her to.