She’s Afraid of Being Hurt

Question: What’s the best way to deal with a woman who’s afraid to love again. She was burned so bad by her last relationship she’s afraid of getting burned again.

We could write a whole book based on this one little saying:

I was burned by my last relationship and I’m afraid of being burned again

1. First, just because she said it, doesn’t mean you have to REACT/RESPOND to it. So there is nothing to do, your game plan stays EXACTLY the same – be a positive challenge!
2. Although she was “burned” by her last relationship, it’s obvious that she enjoyed the feeling that her EX created. He was a #1 feeling guy (a 90s guy) , although he would be considered a negative challenge (because her burned her) which could mean he cheated or maybe he just dropped her out of nowhere.
3. Shocking newsflash – She ALREADY knows that you are not the type of “guy” who would “burn her”. She doesn’t need any more time to figure it out – she INTUITIVELY senses that you are a nice guy who really likes her (and her senses never lie) Thus, I’d bet big money this whole “I’m afraid of being hurt” thing is a way to stall, break dates and get space away from you and not be accused of being “uninterested”). I ignored your text for 3 days not because I have LOW interest level, I’m just afraid of getting burned. She’s not ready to give up a guy who really likes her (a 40s guy) but her real goal is to get her EX/90’s feeling back.
4. The old boyfriend may be gone – but she still has strong feelings for him. The #1 feeling. The 90+ HIGH. Remember, you don’t have to be with the person to still have the strong feeling for them. (just look at all the guys who like some girl for 3 years that they don’t have a chance in hell with her. They don’t look at reality, because just liking the girl, gives them the HIGH feeling – so why would they stop?)
5. Your job is to create that same 90’s feeling in her by being a positive challenge. This way she can swap having the 90s feeling for him (negative challenge) with the #1 feeling for you (positive challenge). The alternative is she is grooming you for the 40’s (#2 feeling) where she will never feel for you the way she feels for him and you will always be vulnerable to her breaking up with you out of nowhere.
6. Her ex created a STRONG negative challenge, so you better bring a really strong positive challenge. And so step one would be not taking this declaration seriously and keeping things light and fun. Don’t buy into it!

• The draw of a 40 guy is he is attractive and HE LIKES HER (the rest can be try ad filled in with control)
• you have to be VERY ATTRACTIVE (top 5%) to get a woman into the 90s, but even if you do, that 90s feeling doesn’t last long. Challenge can get her into the 90s and keep her there forever (and while you do have to pass the attraction threshold 50%, if you are a challenge, you don’t have to be SUPER attractive)