There is NO Love at First Sight

we seemed to click almost instantly, we were both positively struck by each other

Men can fall for a girl in 5 seconds, but for women, there is no such thing as LOVE (100% interest level) at first sight, there is only the HOPE of potential 100% interest (love) in the future, if the man can confirm her suspicions with his behavior

for her, that STRONG INITIAL FEELING is really just the HOPE that this guy can confirm that he represents something better, that he is someone to strive and work hard for, a challenge

THERE IS NO SKIPPING THE LINE, THERE IS NO FAST PASS, EVERY GUY HAS TO GO THROUGH THE FULL DATING PROCESS AND PROVE TO HER THAT HE HAS SELF-CONTROL

but it looks like you didn’t confirm her initial feeling about you, because you weren’t a CHALLENGE

ie. We ended up in my car talking and listening to music till late (translation: I gave away all of my time on the first big date, instead of ending things first on a high note and leaving her wanting more)

• We then kept in contact and arranged a second date

I’m wondering, how much contact? (daily texting?) and I’m also wondering if that contact was light and playful (or serious and logical?) iow, was it too much, too heavy, too soon?

• it was good, but not as great as the first one, we had fun and everything but something was different, like missing, like she wasn’t fully there. At some point she told me she wasn’t up to my standards

This comes off to me like she is trying to let you off easy, NO girl meets an awesome guy and then disqualifies herself as a partner. But as I was reading this sentence I also got the feeling that women who say things like that, really LOVE THE BAD BOYS (iow, she is saying you are too nice for me, I don’t deserve a sweet guy like you)

and of course what comes next….

Later i got to know that during the previous week she spent some time with one ex of hers who was visiting in town. I know it was something emotionally intense for her and in the end she decided to “eliminate” this ex from her life.

BINGO!

Her ex is a bad boy negative challenge, it was emotionally intense because he cheated, lied or did some other JERKY thing to her – and guess what, while she may have eliminated him from her life (I’ll believe it when I see it) ….the truth is he is the one who left her first

And here is the most important piece of coaching I can give you — even if he is truly “gone”, the CHALLENGE he created is still fresh in her mind (all of that intense feeling, emotion, drama and excitement). Her brain lights up like a Christmas tree when she thinks of him (even if it’s for negative reasons, doesn’t matter)

so when you’re trying to match this type of challenge (the feeling this guy created) you really have to bring your A-game, and so I’m guessing that she sensed that you were really into her right off the bat (no challenge at all)