She slipped up in the car at a weak moment and said – If I can’t control you, I don’t want you!
There are times when it’s not 100% clear.
Because sometimes, you are doing a few things right (orange) and other things wrong (apple)
And it can be just as confusing to the girl that you’re trying to date,
A lot of my coaching clients fall into this dating “no man’s land” They know a few things about women and relationships, but they’re still clueless about others.
For example, you stick up for yourself (good) but you lose your “cool” and look upset when you do (bad)
Or you make her respect your time by withdrawing an offer when she’s running super late (orange) but you still text with her every single day (apple)
What happens is, you’re not enough of a WIMP that she can get excited about getting to control you – but you also don’t do enough things right to give her that strong “he’s a challenge” feeling.
You’re kind of languishing in that middle zone.
Not good enough to beat out all the other nice guys that put her on a pedestal. And not enough of a challenge to give her the #1 feeling in the world. Unfortunately, when you’re stuck in the middle, she eventually gets rid of you,
Here’s why –
In terms of challenge, you are being compared to the unattainable “bad boy” from her past, who gave her way more POWERFUL emotions. You don’t fully stack up there. (yet)
And on the “nice guy” side, you’re being compared to wimps who will do way more for her and put her up even higher on the pedestal. Oh, and did I mention that they’re better looking, taller and richer than you. Yep, it’s very hard to win when you play that game.
This why the only strategy that makes any sense, is to commit to fully being the positive challenge. To NEVER be afraid to frustrate her and dare her to walk away if she tries to bluff.
You have to FULLY commit to being the Positive Challenge.
Because if you don’t, you don’t stand a chance in hell.
So I don’t want to hear about how you waited 23 minutes to text her back.
That’s not going to cut it.
Her last boyfriend had no emotions and kicked her out of the apartment in the middle of a snow storm.
Of course you aren’t going to copy what the negative guy does either.
You’re going to do the positive version of what he does (frustrate her with humor and challenge)
Bottom line, you can’t stay stuck in the middle.
You need to fully commit to this program.